Loving a Soldier
by Shanny
Weekly visits to the post office, two small children at her side and a care package under one arm. He never asks for much so she sends what she can; candy, pictures, games, a letter, some drawings from the children.
This time it's a special package she’s sure he'll enjoy, a Game Boy, Advance SP; something he had wanted before he left that unfortunately was not gotten. She hopes it will reach him before Christmas or right around that time. It might get there a little later either way she's sure he'll be surprised.
Since her soldier has been deployed, the people at the post office have become familiar faces. It’s not just a simple package she's sending she's trying to bring a smile to a loved one and send a bit of home with each package. Everyone there shares a common bond; sharing both the pride and the fear that comes with having a loved one deployed. It’s a little more comforting to everyone there knowing that you are not alone at such a time.
Light conversation helps her pass the time away as she waits for her turn. Talking about to where their spouses are deployed, what unit they are with, when they should be coming home and occasionally finding out the special activities that are going on that time on Post. It’s a different life on Post, a stronger bond and a deeper connection. Everyone there understands what the other is going through.
She tries to make him feel more comfortable about being away from his family. Offering words of encouragement, sentiments of “I love yous” and avoids making him feel like he's missing out on anything much. Although they both know it’s not the same as being there in person they make the best of the situation and talk as if everything is normal and okay.
Things have changed since he joined the Army, even she has changed a little too. A new found sense of pride and a deeper appreciation of our American history have come to swell in her heart. A better understanding of how precious and great our freedom is, things that had always been taken for granted now take precedence over all.
She remembers the months before when they weren’t sure he was leaving. Each passing month would come and go and he was still here. Rumors would fly about being deployed each month and she kept preparing herself for that final goodbye before she would see him again, and each month he ended up staying for a little longer. It wasn’t until she started to fully embrace the idea that her soldier wasn’t going that he got the orders to go. In 10 days he would be leaving and they wouldn’t be together again for 6 months.
Recalling that final day it was spent having fun and being a family, he was set to leave at 1:30 am and neither could sleep wanting every moment to last as long as it could. Midnight came and the children were woken up, bundled up tightly they were put in the backseat of the warming car. With the trunk full and the backpack on his lap, she sets off for the “rally point.” It doesn’t take long, and as they pull up they see soldiers everywhere. Talking with friends and saying their last goodbyes to loved ones. You always see the joyous homecomings but you never think about how it feels at the farewells until you have been there. Filled with fear and holding back her tears she embraces her soldier for one last time. One more in person I love you and she tries to keep a mental note of his scent on that day.
Fighting her tears and urges she reminds herself to stay strong, if not for herself for him. She watches until he disappears into the building and then sets off for back home. She lays the children back to sleep and can only sit in the now empty bedroom and stare off into space.
Trying to prepare herself for the next few months that are to come; wondering when that breakdown she was afraid of having in front of him will show. For now there is no time for tears or moments alone.
She now also has a new responsibility in there taking care of her soldier while he’s away. Making sure he gets plenty of letters, care packages and always being there for his phone calls. She focuses on being strong for the children and other family that calls her. She tries to keep on top of things doing everything she can. Only once she knows it’s all been taken care of does she take a moment for herself.
She tries to tell herself there is no time for tears, sometimes it works and other times she can’t control it. She may let some tears fall but as those tears are falling she is filling with a sense of pride, love and devotion that helps her go through each and every day.
It is not easy having her soul mate so far away from her, it makes for many sleepless nights and an aching loneliness that can only be filled by his return.
Would she change the way things went if she had a chance? No. This is part of the military life. This is what it means to love a soldier, taking the good and the bad. And there isn’t a thing she would change.
Shanny
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